A divorce is not necessarily a quick process. The soonest you can terminate your martial status in California is six months and one day after the Petition is filed and served on the other party. Other issues of the case can take a longer or shorter time to resolve. The timing of the resolution may depend upon the amount of information to gather, the emotional state of the couple, and the complexity of the issues to resolve. A collaborative or mediated process typically results in an agreement in a matter of six to twelve months. In contrast, litigated cases can sometimes take up to a number of years to conclude.
The main difference between obtaining a legal separation versus obtaining a divorce is that in a legal separation, you do not ask the court to terminate your martial status. Some parties choose to pursue a legal separation for personal reasons such as religious beliefs or health insurance concerns. They still, however, must complete the same process as parties undergoing a divorce (i.e. file a petition, prepare/exchange disclosure, and come up with a final agreement on all issues).
It is not necessary to appear in court if you reach an agreement. Once an agreement is reached, the Judgment, which sets forth the division of the parties’ property, support and parenting arrangements, can be submitted and approved by the court without a personal appearance.
Collaborative Practice is a newer option for divorcing couples to resolve disputes respectfully without going to court. It promotes consideration, places the needs of children first and retains control of the process with the parties. In Collaborative Practice, each spouse retains his or her own attorney and each have a divorce coach. The team has as a goal meeting the mutual interest of a fair and equitable settlement, which addresses the interests and concerns of both parties, as well as their children.
The cost really depends on the number of sessions necessary to reach an acceptable agreement for both parties. In the collaborative model, the cost is typically one-third of what it would have been if the parties had litigated the case. Mediation can be less depending on the motivation of the parties and how much or how little their advising attorneys are involved in the process.
In both approaches, the parties must be willing to work honestly, openly, and in good faith to arrive at a fair resolution without court involvement or intervention. Both offer a structured, non-adversarial approach, which enables settlement of disputes in a private and confidential setting, while striving to meet the interests of all family members.
Talk with your children and be open and honest, without disparaging the other parent. Talking ill about the other parent in front of your children is harmful and will cause long term harm to your children and their relationships with you and the other parent. The best approach is to work with a child specialist and/or coaches to assist your family in the transition.